Are your trusted advisers giving you honest feedback, or fueling your ego?
How do you know if your trusted advisers are giving you honest feedback?
Hans Christian Andersen once wrote an insightful children’s story, The Emperor’s New Clothes.
This story is about an emperor with an inflated ego. This emperor sought confirmation only from those advisors who always agreed with him.
This emperor had a clothing fetish.
He valued his wardrobe over all his worldly possessions. His insatiable appetite for the latest styles and fabrics was well known by his subjects. News spread across the countryside that the emperor was looking for more fashionable garments.
Using the emperor’s known weaknesses, two crafty deceivers devised a plan to sell the emperor a beautiful, magical robe. The emperor was told that once he placed this robe on, those subjects who did not see the robe were unfit for their position.
He wanted to know who in his circle were incompetent.
This insider information spread quickly and those wanting to remain within a good standing knew how they needed to respond.
In reality, these ‘tailors” sold the emperor nothing tangible, but instead, they sold him the perception of a beautiful robe.
As the emperor placed this unseen expensive robe on his naked body and paraded around his kingdom, he walked along the path listening to the responses of his subjects.
The responses were various positive affirmations all with the sole purpose of keeping the emperor happy.
Until a child, who did not get the memo, yelled out that the emperor was naked!
Then a cascade of awareness fell on everyone.
Indeed, the emperor was naked.
This narrative can easily be applied to today’s business world.
The power of suggestion and the fear of retaliation skews our perception of an event.
If you believe that your trusted advisors have your 100% interest at heart…you are setting yourself up for trouble.
Two keys to prevent this from happening to you:
Express your vulnerabilities in an effort to deflate your own ego.
Allow honest feedback.
As you develop your team and rely on their advisement, you should consider these points and continuously assess your team’s interest.
What is in it for them?
How often are you challenged by these advisors?
When challenged, what is your response?
Having a team of “yes” men/women is a false comfort.
What do you really know about their goals/objectives?
Is your relationship built on your goals or a collective discussion of their goals?
Remember when you were just starting your career?
Remember your interactions with your supervisor?
Did you freely speak your ideas and concerns, or rather, did you tell them what you thought they wanted to hear?
Relying on advice from people that have a personal interest in your happiness rather than your success is not a good idea.
Their primary concern will be your feelings, not the actual outcome of your proposal.
How to empower your team to speak honestly to you.
Value the opinion of your newest employee. They have not received the memo and are likely to tell you when you are naked.
Hire a consultant, a disinterested person that has no personal gains in pleasing you. They get paid regardless of your satisfaction. They provide honest feedback, the good and the bad. This one thing could save you from a poor career move or a poor personal decision that could result in a lost career and/or lost family.
This all begins with your willingness to deflate your ego, place your personal agenda aside, and seek out an accurate assessment. Professional consultants, advisors, and industry experts can be found all over the internet.
If you are wanting a deeper understanding of your behaviors and are wanting to improve your understanding of your own ego…then you should seek out a mental health professional.
I assist my clients in understanding the reason behind their habits/behaviors and we establish goals to improve their overall wellbeing. Currently, I am not able to accept any new clients.
If you are looking for someone, I would suggest you check out On-line Counseling Directory and Psychology Today for therapist (in full disclosure – because of my current military status, I am not listed at this time).
Mental health professionals are your trusted advisers and are not there to tell you what you want to hear, but instead, what you need to hear. Helping you to gain a better understanding of your current situation.
“Behavioral therapy improves patients’ quality of life. They perceive less pain, miss less work and can enjoy their activities again,” said Tariq, who was not involved in the study.
SOURCE: https://bit.ly/2sLYaHu Pain Med 2018.
Reuters Health Information © 2018
Cite this article: Many Migraine Sufferers Skip Effective Behavioral Treatment Medscape Jun 07, 2018.